Today, I was just going through
my Facebook Profile and saw a share. The
share was very funny. It compared a boy’s and a girl’s Facebook Profile. The
message conveyed was a boy, whose status update says he has won a Nobel Prize,
hardly gets a couple of comments and likes. On the other hand, a girl ,whose
status update says she has bought a lovely pet, gets hundreds of comments and
likes. Along with enjoying the share I also realized that, though it was an exaggeration,
it was not completely incorrect. Most of the boys, though don’t get much attention,
feel much proud in commenting on a girl’s profile. I am sure girls enjoy that
too.
Going by my habit, I started
thinking what makes boys going and commenting on girls’ profiles and what stops
girls doing the same on boys’ profiles (going largely by the Indian Society and
Social Networking). It’s not only about
commenting. Most of the boys thoroughly enjoy adding girls in their friends
list while girls seem to be avoiding that (intentionally or unintentionally).
Had this been related to the information that opposite genders attract each
other, both the sides should have been doing the same. But this is not what is actually happening.
Going by the history of what I
have written till now, you can be certain that this is not what I am going to
talk about in my today’s blog. My intent is not to appeal to girls to accept
boys’ friends request or to make them giving more comments and liking more of
the boys’ status updates. We will again go one step deeper to make out
something new out of this observation that I had and most of you would have had
too.
OK, so let me come directly to
the question, what’s wrong here? Is it that girls are introvert and boys are
extrovert? Is it that girls are afraid of strangers? Is it that only boys are
interested in having more relations or it is that girls are still living in a
society which is not open enough to give them a chance to have stronger
relations with boys? We live in a society
and each one of us looks for new relations. Being social animals we do enjoy
new relations, new friends, and new people in our life and their companies too.
This is not new too, as this has been happening for many centuries. Then what
has changed?
Thinking a little, this is what I
could get as an answer. We still love making relations but what has changed is
the definition of a relation. Now we don’t like to have relations which are
Relations, rather we prefer something called as Facebook Relation. A relation in true sense (any relation,
friendship or parents-children relation or husband-wife relation) for me is the one
in which both the sides related are fully committed to each other’s happiness though
they don’t expect such commitment from the other side. So as long as you are
committed to a relation fully, you have a true relation or you share a true
relation from your side. You never bother if the relative is fully committed
too. As far as our Faceboook case is concerned, either the boys are not really
looking for such a relation or even if they are, the girls don’t think they
are. Since the girls don’t think that Facebook could be a mean to get a true
relation, be it friendship or love, they don’t really bother to do something
like this. Some of you might differ here but I would just repeat that I am
picking the case of Indian Social Networking on Facebook and there can be a big
lot of exceptions also.
Something to note here; is it
that only boys look for so called Facebook Relations and girls look for the
true relations. Let’s try to find the answer to this question. Over the past
decade there has been a big change in our outlook about relations. We have
started hatting something which is the root of every relation. We hate
commitments and being committed. Instead of looking for a true relation, we look
for a relation that could satisfy our ego and make us bigger in the eyes of the
beholders. Boys do feel proud of having a Facebook Friend of opposite gender,
which might not be the case with girls. In fact in today’s world we are always
looking for relations which can give us a sense of pride. We don’t like friends
who stop us going the wrong way. We don’t like parents who always scold us for
adopting the bad habits. We want our spouses to be good looking. We want our
spouses to be rich.
I am not saying that this is the
case with all of us and there is something very wrong going on. My intent is
rather to differentiate the most desired attribute of a relation which is commitment.
There is nothing wrong in making a relation that suits your choice, however
with a lack of commitment in the relation it would always remain a Facebook
Relation and nothing more than that.
Ankit, what you wrote is a testament on how a mail brain works. Extreamly inquisitive about the world around and focusing a lot on "How" and "Why" rather then "Who" and "When".
ReplyDeleteAs per my understanding, the behavior that you observed has its roots in two aspects of humanity:
1. Brain Chemistry
2. Social Ecosystem
We all know that we are wired differently. Men have evolved to have high Ego and Women have evolved to have Emotion quotients. This in turn dictates our social behavior (what we do and why we do it).
Well written..Nice analogy and so is your ability to observe :)
ReplyDeleteI liked the term 'Facebook Relations'. Facebook or any tool is like weapon it depends on an individual-with what intentions he/she is using it.
I think the answer lies in your previous blogpost: FB is used as a means to form impressions and indian social norms do differ it genderwise and so it changes their perceptions..